Black enough

To be black
I should be
poor, uneducated,
violent, loud,
belligerent, fertile,
proud, country, threatening,
soul-food loving,
oppressed, thick,
promiscuous, street-wise,
ghetto, imprisoned,
fatherless,
ignorant, pimping,
stoned, lawbreaking,
resentful, blue-collar,
athletic, and lazy.

Paranoid

Sometimes I feel that if I just lived life more ignorantly, I would be happier. If I ignored the horrible people or the not-so-great things that habitually happen in my life, I  wouldn't worry so much. I wouldn't feel so sick of the world.

Okay, a little melodramatic, yet I don't exaggerate. The worst part is trying to figure out how upset I should be about any given situation. You know, what -ist is this person flinging at me? For instance, when my husband drove to my son's school to pick him up, he walked to where the other parents were waiting for their children. Now, my husband tells me that one of the secretaries from the front office ran out to stop him. And that it was after our son's class had let out and other parents were waiting for the students to be led out.

So why did this woman feel the need to stop my husband out of all the parents that arrived. I hate to think why, yet I can't stop thinking of reasons.

American Society

This past Sunday (May 16) I attended Sunday school at a local church that I now regularly attend. Our group is composed of youngish middle-aged married couples, and we have started a new series on how to have a successful marriage in God's eyes. I think (I hope) I will learn a lot to apply to my own marriage.

I am usually pretty vocal to my experiences of married life, but this time it was different. I felt shut out. I could not comment on a single thing those around me were saying. The question that was being discussed was what does society (i.e., secular society) say about creating oneness in a marriage. I actually have "learned" lots of secular messages on how to improve and maintain a marriage; however, I realized that none those messages matched what the group was expressing.

And all the rest

I think I can stop saying that I'm still getting settled. People are starting to look at me funny when I say that I've been here 7 months. But - I'm still getting settled. That was the last time. Or the penultimate or maybe the before-the-penultimate (I don't know what that's called) time.

I enrolled my daughter in preschool last September. She loves it. For the whole three hours she is in school. And that schedule will be the same for kindergarten. I guess that's to encourage people to keep the kids in daycare. Or at home, what do they care? Lighten up the government expenses. I don't know. I see conspiracies everywhere around here. I haven't enrolled her in kindergarten just yet because of the slight panic attack feelings I get. I just know it's going to be a big to-do. I like things simple, and this whole school process is anything but. Paperwork and appointments and meetings and paperwork and headaches. If I could pay someone, let's say, $500 to take care of the enrollment for me, I'd do it. I don't have the money, but I've got spare kidneys and liver lobes.